Easing into our new reality

We have all found ourselves in an involuntary, collective pause. Life events such as weddings, birthdays, anniversaries, and funerals have either been put on hold, canceled or revised. Work life has changed in ways we couldn’t have imagined even a few short weeks ago. We have had to rapidly learn new ways of being as social distancing, mask wearing, and sheltering in place have become the norm.

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Our adrenalin has helped us through the initial burst of crisis adaptation.
Now what?

Catastrophes tend to have a rhythm. There’s the initial survival mode where everyone is simply trying to figure out how to protect themselves and their families, then there’s a rush of effort that gradually settles into a patched-together routine.
 
Then comes the hard part… learning to live with your new reality.
 
With the initial flurry of activity over, tension and stress can start to ratchet up which is why compassion, kindness, and patience are essential for navigating this phase.
 
Here are two tools to help you move forward with more confidence and ease.

Get to know your triggers.

​We all have triggers that set up for reactionary behaviors. Any of your senses such as sight, sound, touch, taste, memory, can spark a knee jerk response that seems so automatic that it often feels like an unchangeable characteristic (the good news is that it’s not!).  
 
One of the easiest ways to learn more about your own triggers is to make a list. Write down every time you react to a situation in a way that doesn’t feel good to you. For example, you might notice that every time you get a call from a certain person your default response is to eat a box of cookies, or you might notice that when you feel like you did something wrong you have a tendency to lash out in anger.
 
As you gain an understanding for your triggers, it becomes easier to make empowered responses (even in difficult situations) that reflect your highest self.

You always have a choice. 
 
Viktor Frankl sums up this concept better than I ever could when he said:

“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”

Choosing your own way through chaos and uncertainty is not easy to do because chaos breeds confusion and lack of clarity. So, if you want to shift from feeling out of control and into more clarity use curiosity to break through the confusion.
 
Here are a few inquiry questions to ask yourself…

• What do I most need in this moment?
• What would be the most loving thing I could do for myself?
• What is the most empowered action I could take?
• Are my current thoughts and/or behaviors bringing me peace? What do I need in order to shift to more positive ones?

​And remember, when life has been turned upside down it is perfectly natural to fall apart every now and then so most importantly be kind and gentle with yourself. I leave you with a final quote from Viktor Frankl whose words once again say it best:

“An abnormal reaction to an abnormal situation is normal behavior.”