This flexibility is important because the ability to take in new info brings an ease to life's unexpected changes. I used to be horrible at this! I’m a manager by nature (partially due, I’m sure, to being the oldest of 3) and life was something that needed to be beaten into a nice, tidy, orderly series of events.  This worked great… as long as there were no bumps along the way. Bumps and deviations from what I had planned were a source of stress, and because life is nothing if not unpredictable this meant I was stressed a lot.
At times my life felt like a house of cards, one small gust of wind could knock everything down… this was exhausting, unsustainable and clearly bad for my health. As a result, I was experiencing chronic insomnia and severe headaches every day! In this state of hyper stress, I was definitely not the mom, friend, sister, or spouse that I wanted to be. There is no doubt that if I had stayed on that path I would have become increasingly more unhealthy and miserable.
I knew things needed to change but I didn’t know where to start. By trial and error, and a good deal of luck I gradually found the tools that have helped me to become more adaptable to change...ahhhh. I am now able to have peace and ease, even in life’s more chaotic moments. I can't express enough how everything shifted for me and brought with it a freedom I had never known. If you are craving this same peace of mind here are a few of my go-to strategies to start with.

| Say goodbye to expectations
The minute we cling to the idea that our happiness is based on a particular outcome we've handed over our experience of life to forces outside of our control. The more flexible you are (in thought and actions) the more you are able to create the experience you want in any moment.

​| Try something new that pushes your boundaries
If we stay in the same old patterns we are not giving ourselves the chance to see what is possible.  Here are just a few ideas to get you started:

• Yoga (This practice has been life changing for me)
• Take a writing or journaling class
• Organize a book group
• Have coffee with a new acquaintance 

| Upgrade your diet
What you eat affects EVERYTHING! Not just your outward appearance but your mental and emotional health as well.  Reducing refined sugars and processed foods and adding in whole foods will help improve your resistance to stress and increase your mental clarity.

| ​Focus on the solution instead of the problem.
It’s easy to get stuck on the problem.  If you notice your mind spinning on what’s going wrong, break that cycle by asking a question that shifts your focus to a solution. For instance: You’re stuck in traffic and late for work, you can’t make the traffic go any faster so ask “What can I do?”  The answer may be to call work and let them know you’ll be late. You may also realize that arriving to work feeling rushed ​will make your whole day feel stressed. As a solution, you might turn off the news and turn on music you enjoy so you feel more relaxed and ready to face the demands of the day.

Enjoy!
Janna

Expectation, and it’s close cousin perfectionism, can suck the life out of any party.  Take the holidays for instance, which really have a lot going for them: twinkling lights, festive decorations, special foods, a chance to step out of the normal routine, and opportunities to honor your friends, family, and religion or belief systems.  Yet somehow we lose sight of what’s important and get swept up in things like:
​

• Spending days and days looking for the perfect gift for everyone
• Redoing the decorations 10 times to get them right
• Feeling like everyone should be happy and getting along, and then being disappointed when they aren’t
• Driving 2 hours to pick up the ‘best’ prosciutto for your party
• Stressing over how to get your cookies to look like Martha Stewart’s

​Not too many Christmases ago I was one of the leading members of the “lets make the holidays as crazy as possible club” and one thing I learned first hand is that expectations can be easily derailed by any number of outside forces.  The best laid plans don’t stand a chance against:​

Time (sometimes there just simply isn’t enough to get everything done in a healthy, relatively calm way)

Other People (when their expectations clash with ours all hell can break loose)  

Money (our vision of how we want to spend on presents, celebrations, and travel quite often exceeds what’s in the bank)

There is nothing wrong with getting swept up in holiday preparations and celebrations!  However, you want to watch out for warning signs that your preparations are leaving you depleted rather than exhilarated.  If you notice you are more focused on things like accumulating presents for the ones you love than being present for the ones you love, here are some ways to release expectations during the holiday time:

Pay Attention to what matters.  Yes presents are fun (I love them!), however the truth is if you disappeared before presents were exchanged no one is going to mourn not receiving the latest electronic, game, sweater, tie, chocolates, etc…  They are going to mourn the absence of you.  The greatest gift you can give is to show up fully for the people who matter to you.
                                              ~~~~~
Pause and notice the things you appreciate most about this time.  Do you love the lights, music, time with friends or family?  What you focus on will grow and expand, so the more you are connecting to the positive the more positive you will feel.  (Yes it is that simple!)
Breathe.  Three deep breaths will allow your body to reconnect with what if feels like to let stress go--even if it’s just for a moment
                                              ~~~~~
Say No… simplify your schedule by not saying yes to every event and invitation.  
                                              ~~~~~
Trade In how you think it "should" be for appreciation for what you have.  So often we’re in a race to make things happen a certain way and we miss the amazing moments in front of us.
​                                               ~~~~~
Say adios to perfection.  Good enough is way more relaxing than setting unrealistic, crazy-making standards that have you running in 1000 different directions to achieve them.
                                              ~~~~~

Hang Out with your pet, or borrow a friend's!  Animals couldn't care less about the holidays, their joy comes from a much simpler source of love and connection.  Giving them love and watching their joy expand can be very soothing to jangled nerves.

By taking care of yourself first you get to give the best gift of all: being fully connected to yourself and therefore able to fully connect with others.

​And on that note... Happy Holidays!!