Then comes the hard part… learning to live with your new reality.
With the initial flurry of activity over, tension and stress can start to ratchet up which is why compassion, kindness, and patience are essential for navigating this phase.
Here are two tools to help you move forward with more confidence and ease.
We all have triggers that set up for reactionary behaviors. Any of your senses such as sight, sound, touch, taste, memory, can spark a knee jerk response that seems so automatic that it often feels like an unchangeable characteristic (the good news is that it’s not!).
One of the easiest ways to learn more about your own triggers is to make a list. Write down every time you react to a situation in a way that doesn’t feel good to you. For example, you might notice that every time you get a call from a certain person your default response is to eat a box of cookies, or you might notice that when you feel like you did something wrong you have a tendency to lash out in anger.
As you gain an understanding for your triggers, it becomes easier to make empowered responses (even in difficult situations) that reflect your highest self.
Viktor Frankl sums up this concept better than I ever could when he said:
Here are a few inquiry questions to ask yourself…
- What do I most need in this moment?
- What would be the most loving thing I could do for myself?
- What is the most empowered action I could take?
- Are my current thoughts and/or behaviors bringing me peace? What do I need in order to shift to more positive ones?
And remember, when life has been turned upside down it is perfectly natural to fall apart every now and then so most importantly be kind and gentle with yourself. I leave you with a final quote from Viktor Frankl whose words once again say it best: